Indoctrination

For the first time in our history, we are proud to announce that Blasted Science has adopted a new human.

After hours of intense research, debate, and meditation, the Blasted Science Board of Executives finally approved the entry of Sam Henry into our elite organization as an unpaid intern. Sam is a world-renowned master of videography. This kid has plenty of camera equipment that should speed up our production process.

Sam’s best quality is his undying love for the Motherland. As a direct descendant of Vladimir Lenin, Sam’s lifelong devotion to communism has been proven time and time again. On a good day, he can seize a country’s means of production in less than 3.75 seconds.

Sam’s great-grandfather, Vladimir Lenin. (January 8, 1916)

The Cheese

Born just in time to browse dank memes, Sam is the real deal. He gets the job done the right way (within 4 tries). He will be a source of primary and secondary video editing, supplies, scripting and much, much more.

Sammyboy is the real deal, hence his title. He’s a master of memes; a denizen of the dank. He also knows his way around a camera. He learned the art of film-making from his surrogate parents in Saudi Arabia.

The ancient video guru of Saudi Arabia: Sammel the Camel.

Joining Blasted Science was always my dream, but I never actually expected to achieve it. Words can’t describe my joy. I am honored to be among my childhood heroes. I have made my country proud.

Sam Henry shortly after receiving his official Blasted Science acceptance letter.

…even though we’re paying you nothing.

The post Blasted Science Extends a Warm Welcome to a New Member appeared first on Blasted Science.

This has absolutely nothing to do with science but…

People need to know.

The post New Video: Official Music Video appeared first on Blasted Science.

As a hipster site, we tried really hard to avoid using Disqus for comments, but we have officially bitten the bullet.

As some readers know, Disqus is the most popular comment system for sites like ours. However, we’re not huge fans of it. We decided to go with Spot.IM for various reasons:

• It loads faster
• It looks pretty
• It’s super hipster

However, as time went on, we soon realized that Spot.IM has some major flaws. For one, it doesn’t show up on Firefox. We have no idea why. Another major problem happened just the other day: a new update to the plugin actually broke comments on our site.

We wanted to love you, Spot.IM

Spot.IM’s obscurity didn’t do much to help. There’s no decent support online, and there’s little to no documentation at all. It’s become apparent that Spot.IM is simply poor quality. Goodbye, Spot. We wanted to love you.

We’re no fans of Disqus, but it’s better than the alternative. Sorry for deleting all comments up until now. Our bad.

The post We’ve Changed Our Comment System to Disqus appeared first on Blasted Science.

Case in point: Napalm Soccer. Blasted Science recently discovered that napalm is the perfect substitute for a soccer ball. And it’s great.

Based on the number of near-misses we’ve already had, we highly recommend that you don’t try this at home.

The post New Video: Napalm Soccer appeared first on Blasted Science.

Quarterly Report Q4 2016

Astute followers of Blasted Science may have noticed a long period of time between posts…again. This time we have an excuse, though.

As every reputable company does, we have prepared a transparency report. Blasted Science is not above the scrutiny of the law. We are real company doing business thing?

Preliminary Item I: Videos are Hard

We at Blasted Science have been hard at work laying the groundwork for our push into video content. As one may expect, quality videos take an unreasonably long time to make. We’re doing our best to streamline the process, and are making great strides.

In fact, we can prove it! We’ve made two videos so far, and a third is on the way. Head over to our videos page to check them out. They’re quality. Trust us.

Preliminary Item II: Lack of New Content

If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one.

-Russian Proverb

Preliminary Item II is not a valid concern. We have been continually churning out content for months. The only difference between recent months and older ones is the type of content. Recently, we have focused our efforts entirely on video production. We have limited resources and can’t spend our time writing and filming, which is why the site hasn’t been updated consistently. We’re doing our best to strike a balance between the different types of content.

Actually, scratch that last bit. We absolutely could do both at the same time. The only problem is that three-quarters of us don’t do anything. Proof:

Perceptive readers may notice a minor problem in the above graph. There is a definite optimization problem. Most of our operations are executing on a single thread, and that thread is yours truly.

Is there a solution?

Probably. The best course of action would probably be a more specific separation of powers. With the exception of the Editor-in-Chief (bet you can’t guess who that is), there is no distinct role for anyone in Blasted Science. Changing that would be nice. This concludes the commentary.

Full Transparency Report

Operations

• Content production is currently at 40% of its average rate, but that is expected to change very soon.
• Content production quality is at an all time high. Quality is much higher than originally expected.
• Employee morale is acceptable.
• Employee participation is at 25% of its theoretical maximum.
• Blasted Science has completed preparations for their video content, and created two proof-of-concept videos. Investors’ confidence in the company surged following both of these videos.

Revenue

• Q4 2016 Gross Income: Zero thousand dollars.
• Stock price has stabilized at NaN.
• Site viewership has grown by 73.4% over Q3.

Company Progress

As is well known, Blasted Science has long measured their progress with the following five phases:

Phase I: Site is created. Content creation begins.

Phase II: Content creation begins to reach the BS Quality Threshold. Video creation begins.

Phase III: BS Quality Threshold is reached. Massive advertising campaign begins.

Phase IV: ???

Phase V: Profit.

During Q4 2016, Blasted Science reached Phase II. Phase III is expected to be during Q2 2017 at the latest.

Plans for Q1 2017

• Video production is set to ramp up significantly.
• Preparation for Phase III begins.
• Top-level reorganization. Executive staff expected to change roles.
• Dumpster diving season begins.

This concludes our quarterly report. Thank you for your time. Blasted Science is always honored to be able to serve the public.

The post Transparency Report – What We’ve Been up to Recently appeared first on Blasted Science.

Why hasn’t Blasted Science done anything lately?

There’s no good answer to that question, since we spent most of that time just slacking off (which wasn’t unusual for ¾ of the Blasted Science staff, I might add). Unfortunately, I personally spent a big chunk of that time working on a little project of mine.

Overset

Overset is a short adventure game that took about four months to make. However, it can be completed in less than fifteen minutes if you’re quick. That means I spent dozens of hours perfecting every single minute of it. Obviously, that makes Overset one of the most polished games in history. I made the game for a contest. However, I didn’t win, so I decided to upload it to the internet. For posterity, of course.

Overset is nothing short of a masterpiece. It features cutting-edge graphics and one of the best stories ever to grace the PC. It is absolutely flawless.

Look at those spooky bathroom graphics!

I’m lazy and I already wrote one description, so here’s the description from its Game Jolt page:

The post Here, Have a Free Game appeared first on Blasted Science.

Since we’re an extremely new site, you’re probably left with a few questions. Who are we? What do we do? Why should you care? Why haven’t you read the About page? It only took us a few weeks to find the answers to these questions.

Who Are We?

Go read the About page. It’s not that hard. We put a lot of effort into the four-column thing. We’re too lazy to explain it again.

What Do We Do?

That’s a better question.

We are a small group of zero-budget, danger-prone DIY enthusiasts who manage to accomplish large-scale projects using minimal funds and equipment. We want nothing more than to share our knowledge with the world. Blasted Science is dedicated to providing you with the information you need to build awesome things without money.

Oh, wait, that was on the About page! Silly us, writing that all over again. I’ve actually memorized that from typing it so many times.

Why Should You Care?

We make things. We find ways to build cool stuff from parts around the house. Obviously, we’re not the first people to do this, but we do it differently from the other guys. Here’s what differentiates us:

• We don’t spend money. This is our big, distinguishing feature. Other DIY enthusiasts know how to save money, but they can’t avoid spending it altogether. We figure out how to build the same things with nothing but tools we already have, and we show you exactly how to do it, too.
• We know our stuff. We spend at least fifteen minutes researching before starting any major project. We can assure you that anything we do is scientifically sound and totally safe. Well, scientifically sound, at least.
• We completely throw caution to the wind. Safety costs money. Forget protective gear and welding goggles, we prefer cardboard blast shields and squinting. We highly recommend not following in our footsteps, but the option is there.
• We can assure you that we’ll never use the proper tools for the job. Railroad spikes are more than sufficient for any task.

Where Else Can You Find Us?

YouTube! That’s where the majority of our effort will go. We’ll do our best to update this site with new and interesting content, but we’re primarily a YouTube channel. You can find more information about our posting schedule here.

We also have social media accounts on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. We’ll keep each of these platforms updated with fresh and unique content. You can follow us on each of these from the links on the top of the page.

The post What is Blasted Science? appeared first on Blasted Science.

Posts

We plan to add 1-2 major posts every week, with a few smaller ones every now and then. We have three general categories for posts:

• Posts featuring content from our YouTube videos.
• Informational/tutorial posts on various DIY topics.
• Completely off-the-wall, meaningless garbage that will make you question our ability to responsibly ingest alcohol.

YouTube

Videos are hard work. We plan to regularly post 1-2 tutorial videos every month. However, it may take another month before we are able to post our first video. We’ve put a lot of work into setting up a website and YouTube channel. Please be patient while we finish wrapping it up.

Goals

We have a lot of ambitious goals for Blasted Science. We’ve compiled a checklist of some big milestones we hope to be able to achieve someday. Here they are, in order:

1. Upload a YouTube video.
2. Get someone to comment on our site.
3. Get 500 views on our site daily.
4. Build an army of power-kiting DIY enthusiasts.
5. Rule the world with an iron fist.

Hopefully this has given you an idea of what to expect. We plan to create plenty of great content for you, hopefully with minimal casualties. Stay tuned for more danger than you can handle!

The post Information About Our Plans and Schedule appeared first on Blasted Science.