Quarterly Report Q4 2016
Astute followers of Blasted Science may have noticed a long period of time between posts…again. This time we have an excuse, though.
As every reputable company does, we have prepared a transparency report. Blasted Science is not above the scrutiny of the law. We are real company doing business thing?
Preliminary Item I: Videos are Hard
We at Blasted Science have been hard at work laying the groundwork for our push into video content. As one may expect, quality videos take an unreasonably long time to make. We’re doing our best to streamline the process, and are making great strides.
In fact, we can prove it! We’ve made two videos so far, and a third is on the way. Head over to our videos page to check them out. They’re quality. Trust us.
Preliminary Item II: Lack of New Content
If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one.
-Russian Proverb
Preliminary Item II is not a valid concern. We have been continually churning out content for months. The only difference between recent months and older ones is the type of content. Recently, we have focused our efforts entirely on video production. We have limited resources and can’t spend our time writing and filming, which is why the site hasn’t been updated consistently. We’re doing our best to strike a balance between the different types of content.
Actually, scratch that last bit. We absolutely could do both at the same time. The only problem is that three-quarters of us don’t do anything. Proof:
Perceptive readers may notice a minor problem in the above graph. There is a definite optimization problem. Most of our operations are executing on a single thread, and that thread is yours truly.
Is there a solution?
Probably. The best course of action would probably be a more specific separation of powers. With the exception of the Editor-in-Chief (bet you can’t guess who that is), there is no distinct role for anyone in Blasted Science. Changing that would be nice. This concludes the commentary.
Full Transparency Report
Operations
- Content production is currently at 40% of its average rate, but that is expected to change very soon.
- Content production quality is at an all time high. Quality is much higher than originally expected.
- Employee morale is acceptable.
- Employee participation is at 25% of its theoretical maximum.
- Blasted Science has completed preparations for their video content, and created two proof-of-concept videos. Investors’ confidence in the company surged following both of these videos.
Revenue
- Q4 2016 Gross Income: Zero thousand dollars.
- Stock price has stabilized at NaN.
- Site viewership has grown by 73.4% over Q3.
Company Progress
As is well known, Blasted Science has long measured their progress with the following five phases:
Phase I: Site is created. Content creation begins.
Phase II: Content creation begins to reach the BS Quality Threshold™. Video creation begins.
Phase III: BS Quality Threshold™ is reached. Massive advertising campaign begins.
Phase IV: ???
Phase V: Profit.
During Q4 2016, Blasted Science reached Phase II. Phase III is expected to be during Q2 2017 at the latest.
Plans for Q1 2017
- Video production is set to ramp up significantly.
- Preparation for Phase III begins.
- Top-level reorganization. Executive staff expected to change roles.
- Dumpster diving season begins.
This concludes our quarterly report. Thank you for your time. Blasted Science is always honored to be able to serve the public.