For the first time in our history, we are proud to announce that Blasted Science has adopted a new human.
After hours of intense research, debate, and meditation, the Blasted Science Board of Executives finally approved the entry of Sam Henry into our elite organization as an unpaid intern. Sam is a world-renowned master of videography. This kid has plenty of camera equipment that should speed up our production process.
Sam’s best quality is his undying love for the Motherland. As a direct descendant of Vladimir Lenin, Sam’s lifelong devotion to communism has been proven time and time again. On a good day, he can seize a country’s means of production in less than 3.75 seconds.
Born just in time to browse dank memes, Sam is the real deal. He gets the job done the right way (within 4 tries). He will be a source of primary and secondary video editing, supplies, scripting and much, much more.
Sammyboy is the real deal, hence his title. He’s a master of memes; a denizen of the dank. He also knows his way around a camera. He learned the art of film-making from his surrogate parents in Saudi Arabia.Needless to say, Sam was absolutely stunned by the opportunity to join our ranks as the first member of the Subcrew. When asked to recount the experience, he stated the following:
Blasted Science is glad to have you on the team, comrade. Now get to work! We didn’t hire you for nothing!
Joining Blasted Science was always my dream, but I never actually expected to achieve it. Words can’t describe my joy. I am honored to be among my childhood heroes. I have made my country proud.
…even though we’re paying you nothing.